Tis the Season

This year Tony and I decided that we would stay home and celebrate Christmas with just the two of us. With his sick gallbladder this is probably the best plan because he tends to get really ill while we are out and then we have to return home anyway. However, all the sudden I am feeling guilty about staying home. I am sure that almost everyone I know is out and about dashing around like a crazy person spending time with their extended family and friends and Tony and I are chilling at home waiting to eat a steak dinner. Hum. I dunno. I am happy to be home and not running around like a lunatic and at the same time I miss running around like a lunatic. Crazy. Nothing ever seems to make me happy. Oh well, guess it's just me.

Enough of that, however, enjoy each other and have a blessed Christmas.

Enough

So here I sit mulling over my Christmas list and thinking about what else I need to buy. Grrr. It drives me to drink. I never feel what I buy is enough. I know it's crazy I work hard to get the "perfect" presents for everyone. Sometimes I win (a pink ring for Becky) or sometimes I lose (mom jeans for Rach). I usually have some sort of list so that I don't over buy and this year with money being tight, over buying really is not an option or so I thought ;) But I guess a tiger doesn't change her spots or is that a zebra doesn't change her stripes? Oh hell. Whatever it is I just know I will never change. Even with watching every dime and buying only things on sale I have over bought. Oh well, it will be a Merry Christmas after all. I know that buying and commericalism is not the reason for the season. But it's my christmas and damnit, I love buying stuff for those people I love.

Now that I am getting over the blues, I am getting excited. I do believe in Santa, I do, I do, I do!

No pity

Blah, what a mood I am in today. I have the weeping blues. Damnit. I hate crying. It makes me feel so weak. Damn, damn, damn.

I am even having a hard time just sitting here blogging without crying. Why the tears? Who the hell knows. Honestly, I was feeling fine when I left work this AM, tired but OK. Hell, we all even went to breakfast, which was great. I love my friends. Then to PT for my hugely swollen foot and things were fine there too. So I don't understand what hit me when I got to H and R block. That poor lady had to think I was crazy when I started crying. I blamed it on being overly tired but really it was the pity on her face when she looked at me. Don't pity me. Yeah, I always have something crazy going on. I have a house that I can't get foreclosed on, I was off work with my foot and no short-term disability but I am OK.  Sure my hubby don't have any platelets and it is one thing after another but it can always be worse. We aren't cold or hungry. We have enough to buy Christmas and Christmas dinner. We have friends and family that love and support us. Things are not perfect but together Tony and I make do. Things will be OK.