Thursday, July 14, 2011

Know me?

You say "what happened to the girl I married, I don't know you anymore."

What happened to the girl you married? Life happened to that girl. She grew up. She wasn't quite grown when she married. She was still a child at 19, full of dreams. Dreams of children running in the backyard, of backyard BBQ's and of everlasting love. Life made her realize that dreams are for suckers and she isn't a sucker anymore.

You didn't want children. She gave up that dream. You had no hopes, no aspirations to better yourself. She obtained her BSN. You wanted to stay in the AC, although the AC holds nothing. She stayed. You changed. She changed, too.

Life happens and things change. She has seen a lot in her time. People born into this world and people leaving this world and the aftershock of both. She has been the bearer of bad news, "I am sorry, this pregnancy wasn't meant to be" or "They didn't make it". Yet she still chooses to believe.

The past? Well, us, we seem to be stuck there. Fearful and hating but unable to affect a change. Why? Well, even a fool knows the past can't be changed. And instead of living for today, we both dread tomorrow. Thankless and full of hate and bitterness.

You, you say "you don't know me anymore" and well, dammit, all you have to do is ask.