The last few days have been trying to say the least. I have actually cried so much that my eyes hurt! They hurt. Who knew that eyes could hurt from crying?! As you all know, I have had a horrible case of the blues for about, well, about 37 years now. OK, maybe that is pushing it, do babies get the blues? So, lets give me at least a good 32 years, sound better? Happy now? OK, great. Why all the tears? Has tragedy hit the house of blues? Umm, nope. Just the crazies and in case you didn't know crazies+blues= crying.
The holidays are not the best of times around here. I still mourn the loss of my grandparents and mother in law. Tony, well, he hates holidays and all things that revolve around anything that involves the mere glimmer of happiness, so holidays have always been an issue. He actually did well this holiday season, I was the one that had worn myself to a frazzle, so worried and caught up about how he was going to act or not act that I made myself sick. Sick dammit, what kind of asshole worries themselves sick? If something doesn't change I am going to be dead before I am 40. And my gravestone will say, "Here lies a life wasted, Worried instead of participated." (pure poetry, right there...) I don't want my gravestone to say that, hell, I don't really want any gravestone, well, not yet anyway.
But on to other things. If you were a friend of my hubby on FB, you will notice that he has, yet again, deleted his account. Why? Well, who the hell knows why. I am sure in all his ranting and raving he gave me some sort of reason that didn't make any sense but I have learned to turn a lot of that off. I have to or I would lose my mind. There really isn't that much mind left to lose. It is very hard to live with someone who is mentally and physically ill.
Oh yeah and on to the advice! I forgot I had advice, it was good advice even. But I can't seem to remember the advice!! Damn. Oh yeah, listen more than you talk and hold on to the good times. They will be what gets you through the bad. Or some happy shit like that...