Goodbye sweet moose

I am saddened and sick at my heart over what had to be done. You were so sick and I was helpless against that. You were but a tiny puppy when we got you. You were born on Christmas Eve. We named you Beatrice because that is what Todd called women. I honestly don't remember the whole joke just that the name seemed to fit. You were so mean to your brothers and sisters, you would bite their tails so that you could nurse. I knew you had to be mine.

You were a good puppy, minimal shoe loss to chewing, you were more of a blanket dog anyway. You loved to bite feet and didn't really care for kids. We lived on the farm at that time and you got to run free. I remember one time the ol' farmer at the top of the lane was mad because you would run his sheep so he turned on his electric fence. All I heard was BBAAAAAA then yipe yipe yipe as you shook and stood behind me crying. You would always run to me when you heard those mean ol' sheepies. You knew Mommy would keep you safe.

You slept where I slept and heaven forbid we take a vacation because you wouldn't eat. You pouted the whole time we were gone. I missed you too when we left but you hating riding in the car so it wasn't fair to torture you that way. I would call whomever stayed with you at least twice a day to find out how you were doing.

You owned the couch. It was your spot to lay in,damned if we had company or not. We would always find a spot to get your big moosey butt situated on.

You were always by my side, where I was, you were close behind. You checked on my constantly and made sure I was behaving myself. You did not like anyone having too much fun. You were old and your sense of humor was lacking.

You loved your snacks. You would come up with ways to get them. Sneaky ways like going outside every ten minutes then expecting a snack. Then when you got to lazy for the every ten minute outside trick it was just acting like you wanted out so I would get up, and while I was up, could you please have a snack?

When you could no longer get into bed with me it was a sad day. You hated being lifted or pulled on so you started laying on the floor. We made you a comfy bed to always be close to me.

You were such a very good dog. Full of attitude and love for Tony and I. I know that we did the "right" humane thing but I still feel like I failed you. I am sorry Beatrice, I love you.

Attack of the BBQ

Let's start off with a "no" to my friends in-the-know about my yearning for a grill. This girl has yet to purchase a grill. This is more about the dangers of the outdoor grilling season or better yet, the dreaded BBQ. This past weekend was the 4th and boy did I indulge. Battered and fried shrimp, mac-n-cheese, baked beans, potato salad, a hamburger, you name it, I ate it; all of it, every delicious bite and dammit I enjoyed it until I added up my points and journaled what I had eaten. Then I kinda of went "oh hell" and did it again. Three times to be exact. I went 40+ points over my extra 35 points that I am allowed. OMG and tonight it weigh-in and I am sad. After my disappointing weight loss last month .6lbs to be exact I was pretty stoked when last week I lost 1.8lbs and this week I am afraid, very afraid of the scales. I have considered not going this week, giving myself a break but  that is why I weigh what I weigh. Too many breaks and cookies and days laying on the couch doing nothing. *sigh*

So where does that leave me? Well, it leaves me with the understanding that I can't be trusted around food. That I still have a whole lot of work to do on me and the way my brain is hard-wired when it comes to food. This weekend I have two parties to attend and with that two pitfalls for my diet. I hope that this weekend I can focus more on the party and the fellowship and less on the food and the guilt. Wish me luck ;)