Well, here it is 5:44am and I am wide awake. I was cozy-dozy earlier and I slept for about 20 mins. Yeah for me. I haven't had trouble sleeping in awhile cause I am just downright exhausted between school and work. I am wound-up about mid-terms in stats. I don't understand a damn thing in that class. I can follow my directions in my notes and do the work. I have read and re-read the chapters and I still don't understand what the hell I am doing. Hairless wonder tried to help me some tonight. But I was so over loaded with info I just got caught up in his blue eyes and KY accent. *sigh* Sorry Tony, I just slipped for a few!
I have to get in 5 hours to meet the "girls" for lunch. Poor Tone is going with us. We have some things we need to do in Eastgate and I want to see Gran while I am down that way. We are meeting the girls in Mt. Orab which is on the way. So long story short we decided it only made sense for him to come too. Poor guy, I have him so fucked up that he actually said, "I won't embarrass you will I?" It made me sick at my stomach to think he would feel that way. I didn't understand because he has met all the "girls" we are going to lunch with and they think he's great. So I dunno.
I tried to scrapbook some tonight to get Gran's book together. I only got a few pages done before I started hurting too bad to finish. My hips are bothering me again. I feel like there is a rubber band stretching from one hip across my back to the other hip. Sitting in class and then the hour there and back doesn't help at all. I can't reach the freakin' floor in the chairs we sit in. I get so tired of that. Anyways, it hurts so much to look at the pictures of grandpa that I can't hardly stand it. It starts giving me chest pain. It's stupid. Why the hell does it hurt so bad? How the hell do people work through this? I keep stuffing the grief down deep, not only in my closet of shit, but under it and it still keeps coming out. I think I need to invest in some nails or something. To keep it down, ya know?
I hear the trashman lurking around out there. There is something so routine and comforting about that sound. I like things that are routine.
I should attempt going to bed before Tony and Bea take it over. It's stuffy in my bedroom tonight. Maybe I need to open more windows. Nite