Monday, September 14, 2009

Fuss, snort, complain, whine

I am really, extraordinarily hateful currently. I am so miserable that I just started crying while sitting in my driveway just because I can I guess. I did not want to get out of my car and walk into the house. I felt panicked almost. Why? Tony beating me? Nope, I think I am having a 35 y/o crisis. I don't know what I am doing or why I am doing it. I am going to college and I feel like it is a waste of my life. I go to work and still feel like a waste. I feel like I am unable to give my patients 100%. It's not them or work, it's me. I am just worn out. I shouldn't be. I have an easy life compared to most. No kids, no huge house payment. I have a job and groceries. My needs are being met, I guess. Why am I not satisfied with that? What is wrong with me that I can't be one of those happy, perky, god loves me and loves you kind of people? Why is stuff never enough. When will I be full? What is wrong with me?

I wonder if it is just not because I am overly tired. I have bitched endlessly about wearing das boot but at least I have a foot to wear it on and a place to wear it to. I have this love/hate relationship with das boot. I hate it when it's on and I love to take it off.

Well, I have about 20 million more bitches but I am done. This is trash and doesn't deserve to be written or read.

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