Really?

Well, just when I thought things were looking up, I kicked my kneely-wheely bullshit thing with my "good foot" bruising my last three toes. Those poor toes are so sore I can barely stand to touch them. Putting on a shoe this evening about killed me. I wanted to cry and whine more about it but Sean was over and well, I didn't want to look like more of a baby than I already do. So I just put on my shoe, cried a little inside and sucked it up. And because I was "up" on my leg too much (basically I didn't have the damned thing elevated over my freaking head because we were eating dinner out) my leg is swollen, my cast is so freakin' tight it's cut off circulation to my brain and I got the son-of-a-bitch wet again. I am ready to say, fuck it, what's the worst that can happen, take this thing off. I am too embarrassed to call the dr for another cast replacement, as it has only been a week with me being casted and this is my second cast. My first one had to come off because I have a sore on my ankle, so my damn foot is going to rot off in the long run anyway, so there. Wah is me.

What else? Well, senior seminar is killing me, too much work and too lazy me. My dumb ass chose dying with dignity as a topic and damn it is a BUMMER. I can only read so much at a time before I either start crying or fall asleep. Hell of a topic, slick, way to go.

Tony has been so good to me while all this is going on. He takes pretty good care of me and is now even up to taking me out in public. He even let me go to school with Stephanie. I think he was thrilled not to have me home for a few hours. Stephanie sucks, however, as moral support, she laughed at me the whole time we were gone. Thanks Steph for your confidence building skills. Actually, I really appreciate Steph, she didn't complain at all about getting me in and out of the van and fed me to boot. Then to show my appreciation I cried on her while talking about my grandparents at dinner. I am a piss-poor date.

Last night I broke out in a weird rash and took a benadryl, best sleep I have had in months. Even if it was ten hours of sleep! It was wonderful. Maybe tonight I will get a "rash" again and sleep like a baby.

Well, I am off here to go and elevate the leg of doom. My toes are starting to look like sausages and the puppies are hungry.