Snippet from an actual conversation I had with my mother earlier today Mom says "Remember when Kim did your Grandma Pearl's hair when she died? Well, that's why I think Danny has prostate cancer." I say "huh" as my brain freezes and blood starts pouring from my nose (ok so I made the whole blood from my nose thing up but can't you see a statement like that causing blood to pour from noses?). Then Mom goes "Talking about your Grandma Pearl I was found some pictures the other day in an album with your name on it, it had some really good pictures of you and your Grandma Pearl and Aunt Kat and well do you have those pictures? Did Grandma ever give you those pictures. Oh, that album has your name on it" and then she pauses for a response, of which I have none so again, I say "huh"(how the hell can I have the album if you have it mom? Never mind the fact my brain is still frozen from the previous statement about Kim and cancer). After the second "huh" my mother then decides that I am distracted and perhaps I am still cross at her (our last phone conversations have pretty much ended up with me yelling at her). Then she goes on with the whole "I know you have your own problems right now but my insurance bill didn't show up and I wanted to know if you could do something about it." Now I am really quiet because what the hell can I do about her insurance bill. She further explains that she only gets "one bill every thirty days, one chance to pay it and has been on hold for two hours with the person from HR". Now I am really confused because I have no clue what she is talking about and NO ONE works at her house so who's HR is she holding for exactly. Now I have questions but she doesn't want to hear them. I start to talk and she says "Well, you are in a mood (or whatever she called it) so I will talk to you later. I know you love me. Bye" and hangs up.
This is why I am crazy.