Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Maybe a nap is in order

Someone pissed in my Wheaties this morning and I am not happy about it. Not that anyone except the occasional weirdo would be happy about tinkle in their Wheaties but I really hate being this pissed off in the morning. For one I really dislike being up this early. I don't care for the quiet and all the time to think. I don't like being left alone with my thoughts because they sound eerily like my mother and they never have anything good to say. I never hear, "your a good person" or "gosh people love you". Nope, not my inner voice, it nags and says shit like "you suck" or "why aren't your smarter, prettier, thinner" or "why aren't you cleaning, this house is filthy, you can't even take care of your own house", I am guessing you get the point. Mornings are the worst time of the day for me most generally. Unless I start out in a good state of mind with plenty of sleep to back it up then I can enjoy the morning. This is not the case this morning. My sleep has been screwed up for awhile. I sleep maybe two hours at a time and then I am up either to pee or I am just wide awake. It sucks. I am tired about 5pm and ready to be in bed by 7pm and up again by 11 or at the latest 1a. It is stupid. I work night shift so I don't understand what the deal is with this shitty sleeping pattern. Up down, up down and up again. Pissing me off. Even the dogs are starting to get mad. Beatrice who used to follow me everywhere no longer gets up with me. She will occasionally snort at me and see if I brought back a snack but other than a snort she stays in her doggie bed, sleeping! Dammit I want to sleep too.

So what is pissing me off this AM? Well, stupid shit that has nothing to do with nothing really. I am tired of people hating on us fat people. You don't like me because I am fat well, fuck off. I probably don't like you either because you are a judgmental, shallow dickhead. I am not fat to personally offend you, your family or whatever bullshit beliefs you have. Yeah I obviously eat a lot and don't make the healthiest choices and I probably am lazy too but it is not any of your damn business. Why don't you take care of your family and business and I will worry about mine.  I don't live off of welfare, you aren't supporting my "habit" so please do me a favor and go fuck yourself (not that you will enjoy that because you are a terrible lay because shallow people suck in bed)*I was originally going to edit out all the stuff about being a terrible lay, but it's funny (childish) if nothing else* .

So with that, I think I shall, put the laundry in the dryer, let the doggies out and attempt to go back to bed before someone gets hurt.

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