Maybe a quick blog will help me sleep. You see I have insomnia and it is pissing me off. I hate, hate, hate not being able to sleep. Sleeping is one of my coping mechanisms and boy right now I need all of those coping mechanisms I can get.
But I digress one of the reasons I wanted to blog was to admit that I have checked out on my life. I can't really put a finger on when I started checking out on life but I am thinking I was a pretty small child when I started doing it and I am sure that it was one of my coping mechanisms (damn, I think we are all going to be tired of seeing coping mechanisms) Mom started drinking and I checked out, hid and did my own thing. Is that yelling? Run, run for the hills (or my bedroom with a book and the covers up to my chin). I am by nature an avoider (yeah, I made up a word) I don't like confrontation, yelling, uncomfortable situations, drunks and dealing with life. So I just up and avoid shit. It worked for me. Worked being the key term there. Avoiding shit has caught up with me and now I have some regrets. And regrets suck because there isn't a damn thing that can be done about them.